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Don't expect the unreasonable from you child

By: Dr. Noel Swanson..

Every parent has expectations of their children. These expectations are formed unconsciously from our own wants and desires. They are important. Expectations form the foundation for many things in our lives.

The key is to have positive and reasonable expectations for your children. How do you establish a set of positive child discipline expectations? How do you know if your child discipline expectation is even reasonable? These aren't easy questions to answer.

How do you know if an expectation is reasonable? The first thing to do is research. Does it seem like a lot of work? It just might be. Parenting isn't easy. You make it up as you go along, based on the foundations and parenting advice left to you by others and your own heart to guide you.

And, inside, look at yourself objectively, or put yourself in the shoes of the child and you will get a fairly good idea whether it is you or your children who are being unreasonable.

Similarly, if your child is an average student, expecting average grade work is reasonable because he is doing his best. As a parent, you need to review your expectations from your child every now and then, because you never know when you suddenly start demanding more from them than they can deliver.

Having unreasonable expectations of your children leads you to disappointment and your children to feeling like they can't measure up. Neither of these situations is positive and should be avoided since they tend to lead to child behavioral problems.

It is equally important to convey your reasonable expectation in child behavior to your child. You can formulate a set of goals in different areas of child discipline, and hold to them. Make sure to reward your children for meeting those expectations and encourage them to reach more, once they've reached one.

The key to parenting is to remember not to push your desires onto your children. It often happens that parents impose their own unfulfilled dreams on their children and expect them to achieve what they failed to do in their lifetime. Nothing can be worse than this. So, take some time out and look at your expectations and assess how reasonable they are. Reasonable expectations promote growth and positive self image and are an essential parenting skill.

You can visit visit http://www.good-child-guide for some good tips on effectively dealing with children's behavior problems.

Article Source: Main Articles

Dr. Noel Swanson has written a highly entertaining and very informative book on managing child behavior problems - The GOOD CHILD Guide. Many pediatric nurses consider it a must read for all parents. Also get his parenting articles here.
Click here for other unique parenting articles.

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