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Parenting Advice: How To Get To Children To Sleep

By: Dr. Noel Swanson...

In order for us to get restful sleep, we need to be relaxed. In order to relax, a number of things have to happen. First of all, we need to feel safe and secure. Obviously, if there is tension in the house - abuse, parents rowing, problems with finances or neighbours, or else problems at school or with friends, it will be much harder to relax and fall asleep.

Feeling safe and sound is of the utmost importance. If children hear their parents arguing, if there are financial problems, trouble with neighbors or disagreements with friends, trouble at school, they experience tension and don't feel safe. Of course it's even worse if their parents abuse them. Any one or combination of these situations won't let your children relax and enjoy a good night's sleep.

To sleep, we then need to turn our minds off the business of the day, shut out the distractions of the environment and slow down our heart rate and metabolism. As we drift into sleep, not only does the body slow down, so too does the brain. Brain waves, which are often running along at 14 Hertz (cycles per second) or more during the day, will slow down first to an "alpha" rhythm (around 10 Hz) and then gradually right down to the deep sleep of a "delta" rhythm (4-7 Hz).

Everyone has to quiet their minds before they can fall asleep. It isn't always easy, but we need to learn how to let go of what happened during the day, close our ears and minds to any environmental distractions, and slow our heart rates and metabolism. During the day our brainwaves run at 14 Hertz, or cycles per second. They may even cycle higher. When we fall asleep the brain and body both slow down. During the first stage of sleep our brainwaves slow to an "alpha" rhythm of about 10 Hz. During deep or "delta" sleep we are running at 4 to 7 Hz.

Soak in a warm tub and drink some warm milk. The bath relaxes our bodies, allowing the metabolism to slow down. It doesn't have to stay active and generate heat. Muscles relax when they are warm. The warm milk contains Tryptophan. This is an amino acid which acts as a natural sedative. Stay away from caffeinated drinks like Coke, tea or coffee. Don't engage in activities which will wind you up or frustrate you. Keep the kids away from the frustrations of homework or the activity of the Gameboy.

Have your child take a nice warm bath and maybe drink some warm milk. His or her body will start to relax and the metabolism will slow. Warm water allows the body to stop the work of keeping itself warm. The bath will also ease tension in all of the muscle groups. Warm milk has Tryptophan in it. Tryptophan is an amino acid that is a natural sedative. Drinking the milk will also help your child to wind down. It goes without saying that they shouldn't be drinking anything with caffeine. This includes Coke or Pepsi, and other soft drinks, as well as coffee or tea. Also around bedtime they should be engaging in quiet activities, not worrying about homework or playing an active computer game.

Soft, relaxing music is good. We can't close our ears against the noises from our environment. These can easily wake us up and heighten our stress. Especially disturbing are barking dogs, howling foxes or heavy lorries driving by. At least we can modify the sounds. Make the room as quiet as you can by using heavy curtains, double glazed windows, and close all the doors.

Since we can't close our ears, relaxing music might help lessen the shock and disturbance of hearing sounds from our environment. Sudden noises and those not expected tend to wake us and cause stress. Some sounds we can't control are a barking dog at the neighbors, a fox or other creature howling, or even lorries passing the house. However, we can take some steps to modify our environment. Using heavy drapes or curtains, double glazed windows and closing doors can aid in keeping out some sounds.

If we want to introduce sounds to drown out the disturbing ones, we need to use care. Sounds known as white noise, come from fans and humidifiers. A soothing radio program can also help lessen the effects of the dogs and lorries. Because of the pitch and the beat of the sound we introduce, we can cause more stress than relaxation, if we don't know what we're doing. Remember that the higher frequencies give us energy while the lower ones help us relax. White noise and most radio music are high frequency. If your radio is a less expensive model, then the bass response is poor, making it worse. In general, popular music is played at a fast beat. The worst type for sleep is disco music. Most of us can't help somehow engaging with the music, by tapping or nodding to its beat. We refer to this as entertainment and tell ourselves that our bodies want to align with the rhythms of our universe. The problem is that our heart rates also align with the beat. If the music is up tempo our heart rate increases. To slow it down for sleep we need to play slow and calming music.

The ideal beat for creating a sleeping environment is 50 to 60 Hz. That matches the heart rate when we are relaxed. It should be pitched low and the rhythm should be slow. These factors will help our hearts slow their beating. Where do we look to find the appropriate sounds? Some nature recordings, such as rolling waves will do the trick, as will certain classical music. I recommend tapes or CDs that are made expressly for relaxation. Some of the best I have found are by Steven Halpern and the Sound Health Service CDs called "Relax" and "De-Stress". Play them softly in the background so as to make a gentle sound environment in the bedroom. They will also help to drown out those disrupting background noises. Some children don't sleep deeply enough and are awakened frequently. If your child has that problem, consider playing a CD on continuous play. It will calm your child throughout her sleep.

We've learned how sensitive we are to frequencies, rhythms and sounds. Our bodies also react to colour and light. Supermarkets use this to their advantage by lighting the vegetable sections with blue/ green tinged bulbs. The vegetables appear greener and fresher. Note the use of red tinted lights at the meat counter. It's a subtle but effective technique. Packaging is also carefully planned as to colour and design, with the motive of making it appealing enough to buy. The rest of the store is brightly lit and has music playing. Do you feel comfortable and happy? This is the goal, so if you feel these things they have been successful. The more time you spend in this environment, the more money you will spend. Think about some dark and dreary shops that you've seen. You didn't feel so enthusiastic did you? Using the same principles, football clubs paint the changing rooms in psychologically chosen colours. The home team changes in a red room to arouse them into action, while the away team has a blue room to relax and quiet them into lethargy.

The lighting is also important. Not surprisingly, bright lights keep us awake. So too, does light with a "cold" or bluish tinge - such as from fluorescent lights. This is, after all, the lighting of the early morning sun. On the other hand, the twilight sun is full of warm shades of orange and red. So the light from a dim bulb or, better still, from a candle, oil lamp, or natural fire, will be much more relaxing. Combine these with pink furnishings, soft slow music, the sound of waves on the beach ....

Be sure to consider lighting when you design a bedroom. Bright, blue or cold lights tend to wake us up. An example of these are the fluorescents. That's because they imitate the early morning sun. At twilight the sky has the warm colours of orange and red. The most relaxing lights for nighttime come from low wattage bulbs, candles, oil lamps or a nice fire. If you add these lights to pink furniture, soft and slow music, the waves on the beach you get the picture.

Natural flames are so relaxing because they flicker. The typical rate is 6-7 Hz. The brain responds to this frequency by relaxing into "theta wave" mode.

Aroma. Smell is, in fact, the most primitive and basic of our senses. How often have you had a brief whiff of some smell that has brought certain memories and emotions to come flooding back? Smells affect our emotional state, and the right smells can help us to sleep. Recommended for sleep are the essential oils of mandarin, chamomile roman, lavender and palma rosa. For children over five, neroli, geranium and nutmeg can be added to the list. These oils can be combined, with a mixture of mandarin, chamomile and palma rosa, and also of chamomile, geranium and nutmeg being particularly effective. The oils can be put in bath water, rubbed on the skin with massage oil, or put in the water of the humidifier. Once again, moderation is the key. It is subtlety that we are looking for, not an overpowering smell.

Were you aware that our sense of smell is the most primitive of all our senses? It's true. You can most likely think of occasions when there was some scent in the air, even momentarily, that reminded you of something from your past. The experience can be quite emotional. Following that idea, it stands to reason that some aromas will enable us to fall asleep faster, and get a better rest during the night. There are several essential oils that serve that purpose specifically: mandarin, chamomile roman, lavender and palma rosa are among them. Others that are safe for children older than five are neroli, geranium and nutmeg. Combine these for your child with mandarin, chamomile and palma rosa. Mixtures including chamomile, geranium and nutmeg are considered to be the most effective. You may need to do some experimenting to find the best combination, but remember to be moderate with your mixtures. Ways to use them are in the bath water, rubbed on skin (add massage oil), or added to humidifier water. These subtle aromas can be most effective relaxation techniques.

Not having some fresh air to breathe at night can be interrupting to sleep. Think about opening a window, even if it's just a tiny bit. Too many people close all the windows and leave the heat running at night. Not only does it get close and too warm, lack of humidity dries out nasal passages. When we are uncomfortable, especially when it comes to breathing, we tend to sleep poorly and awaken often.

There are three possibilities for improving humidity in the bedroom. First, consider turning the heat down and covering your child with more blankets. This also serves the purpose of helping him to feel grounded. Second, you may want to use a humidifier. They can actually fulfill two purposes; creating both moisture and white noise. The third option is to lay a wet flannel or towel over the radiator. If you add a small amount of essential oils, the child also receives the benefit of a soothing aroma.

There must be millions of ways to help your child sleep. Experiment until you find what works best in your home. What about you, the parent? How often are you exhausted and long for sleep? Do you find yourself wishing for a nap before the kids come home? You might be stuck in a nineteenth century myth about sleep. Look at this website to find out some things about sleep that will amaze you, and change your life.

I wish you peaceful nights and happy dreams.

Article Source: Main Articles

For more articles full of parenting advice by Dr. Noel Swanson, go to his parenting advice website.

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