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THE SEVEN AGES OF PARENTHOOD

By: Dr. Noel Swanson

Stage 1: Me, have kids? Really?

Your biological alarm goes off. Every baby is unbeliveably cute. Am I ready for kids? They are pretty darn cute. Why not? Plus, making babies is quite fun!

Stage 2: Blue line pregnant or no line?

You check your calendar to see that your period is late. Oh my. This really could be happening. Your heart beats faster at the thought of having a baby on the way. Your bladder pushes you to go to the bathroom as you feel a kick in your stomach.

Flash forward a few months. The kicks, elbows, backaches, and swollen ankles are part of your daily routine. Gross! Varicose veins. What happened to your body?

Baby arrives with loud fan fare. You swear at your husband and swear you can't take the pain of giving birth ever again. You spot her cute grin and your heart melts.

Phase 3: A first time for everything

Sleepless nights, sore nipples, dieting to lose all those extra pounds. Meanwhile, the little darling can do no wrong. Look! She smiles! And she has discovered her toes! I wonder if they really taste so good?

The "firsts" for every occassion erupt. She sits, crawls, stands, and walks to you all on her own. She can eat solid food and go to the potty. You are so proud until she throws an ear piercing tantrum. This doesn't deter your enthusiasm about celebrating her "firsts".

Nursery rhymes and pat-a-cake - crucial for child development but, all too often these days, delegated to the TV.

Your baby heads off to school. You are thrilled, but will miss her at the same time.

Phase 4 Playgrounds, parties and alphabets.

How fast they change from being cuddly babies to young, independent, school kids. In some English private schools they even wear a uniform with cap and tie (for the boys)!

The bathroom humor fills her hours. Who knew going potty could be so hilarious?

Their first best friend, and first rejection. Scraped knees in the playground. And, of course, their first "it's not fair!"

You want them to be independent, but it is hard. Why can't you have the ability to protect them from the world?

Phase 5 - Reading, Riting and Rithmatic

Time to put the play aside for a moment. There's letters and sums to learn. For some, it is just a walk in the park, for others it is climbing Everest. It is at this time that the differences between children become apparent. Those with easy kids can't see what all the fuss is about, yet for others it is the beginnings of years of stress, worry, tears and heartache.

Even so, there are always the little events to remember - All she wants for Christmas is her two front teeth (along with Barbie and a puppy dog!)

The temptation to baby her strong, but you remember she needs to do her chores.

Stage 6: She hits middle school.

Girls will be girls and boys will be boys - and never the two shall mix. Well, why would they? The girls are all into pink and giggle too much - and the boys are just too cool for such silliness.

Clothes. You are just SO out of date mom! No one wears that anymore! And why should it matter if my pants are hanging down by my knees? Mom, these clothes are too small!

Language. Well cool.

First bra, first period. Lipstick and makekup. Squeeky voice that breaks. Anti-perspirant.

Stage 7: The opposite sex suddenly looks attractive.

Boys and girls discover the attraction to each other. They wonder if anyone has a crush on them.

Suddenly too, your precious child, whom you taught everything, knows more than you. In fact, you apparently, know nothing, and they knows everything!

Parents are not cool while friends are the top of their social list. Your daughter wants to stay out late with friends. Can't you just be a cool mom and let her stay out until 3am?

On special occassions your teenager will open up to you. Just listen, don't preach.

Your daughter becomes an adult. She is back to talking with you and tells you about her life dreams. She is ready to tackle the world.

Phase 8 (well, who said I could count?)

Your daughter has moved out of the house to start a family of her own. Does she need help? Should you call her?

"I'll love you, forever. I'll like you, for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be" - Robert Munsch

Life is short. Enjoy moments with your children whenever you can.

Article Source: Main Articles

Go over to Dr. Noel Swanson's website for more excellent child behavior advice. While you are there, make sure you also get his book The GOOD CHILD Guide - it really is a must-buy for every parent. Visit here for more parenting articles.
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