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Home | Self Improvement | Time Management


The Function of Gaslighting

By: Kenrick Cleveland
 

Here's a great example of a powerful strategy called gaslighting and how to use it in your persuasive situations with the affluent...

I was flipping through the channels a few nights ago and I stopped on an old episode of M*A*S*H. It was the episode where BJ is bored and in an attempt to entertain himself he decides to have a little fun at Winchester's expense.

BJ, the prankster, while Winchester is out, takes a pair of his pants and replaces them with a pair several sizes too large. When Winchester changes into them, BJ is there and casually makes a comment that he's looking sick and that maybe he's got a virus or worse.

Later, BJ replaces the pants that are too large, with a pair that are way too small. When Winchester changes again, BJ casually notices how heavy Winchester has become, which has a dramatic effect on Winchester, prompting him to go on a crash diet.

Having observed this all, Hawkeye asks BJ, "What's next?"

To which BJ responds, "Tomorrow he gets taller."

This is an example of gaslighting as a harmless prank, but the technique has far more nefarious potential and conversely when used ethically, some positive potential as well.

It's important to me that as you read this, you understand that the persuasion techniques I teach must be used with integrity. I've learned the hard way that when they are employed for unethical purposes, there's the very real potential for a world of hurt for all involved.

From the 1944 film Gaslight the term "gaslighting" acquired the meaning of ruthlessly manipulating an individual into believing something other than the truth.

In 'Gaslighting' the husband tries to convince his wife that she's insane so that she'll have to be institutionalized, thus getting her out of his way. His subtle manipulations cause her to doubt her own grasp on reality.

Using gaslighting in a way that is not unethical could include understanding how your affluent prospect interprets their own reality.

There are five main strategies employed in the technique of gaslighting and you can use each one to your advantage when persuading your affluent prospects.

The first is repetitive questioning and this is used to plant the seed of doubt in a person.

You can see this tactic used on game shows, where the host will ask the contestant, "Are you sure? How sure are you? Is this your final answer?" This supposedly (though I can't see it) raises the level of anticipation and sometimes causes the contestant to doubt themselves.

A simple cock of the head, a raising of the eyebrow, and a comment such as, "really?" can install in the recipient, the necessary seed of doubt needed to set them off guard.

This can be very effective when you come at them from the perspective of having only their best interest at heart.

The second strategy is to point out things that simply aren't there.

This is useful in undermining their feeling of reality. It can also be used in pointing out assets and qualities in a person who has no idea that they have these assets and qualities (whether or not they actually do).

In interactions with a boss, a client, a prospect, someone of authority, or someone we'd like to sell to, this can be an effective tactic. Appealing to a sense of vanity or ego, when done correctly, can work phenomenally.

Warning: if the compliment is completely without merit, an obvious fabrication, then one is sure to be discovered. Subtlety and at least a small nugget of honesty works best here.

The third strategy may be employed by various professionals, experts and/or authority figures. For example, a therapist (or minister, or pychic, or doctor) has specialized or divine access to unseeable information about you - deep, mysterious information that only they know how to reveal and which gives them "the answer" that you seek.

This will cause lowered defenses and a more trusting feeling from the client.

The fourth gaslighting strategy involves revealing the secret thoughts of others.

Another way to view this is specialized gossip, directed directly at the person you're persuading. It's as if you're letting them in on a secret, and you're doing it because you care enough to help.

You can use this positively to spread compliments about that person that were told in confidence. Using encouragement and praise instead of derision and destruction.

And last, but not least, the final strategy is to use the power of the many against the tiny power of one.

You'll see this used by children, politicians, in religion, through the media, by the military, and throughout society.

It's a group think straight out of 1984.

Ganging up on others is a very powerful tactic. If many others confront you, telling you your position is wrong, it's very difficult to maintain your belief.

As you can see, gaslighting isn't necessarily a nice practice. It is designed into trick someone into doubting themselves and their own sanity. But there are ways that gaslighting can be used for a positive outcome. You have to decide whether it's the right thing to use this technique and when it's the right time not to use it.

Article Source: Main Articles

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of affluent clients using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques.

This article may be reproduced wholly or in part without written permission provided the byline, resource area, and any hyperlinks remain in order to give proper credit to the author.

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